


I Can't Quite See

by makeawishonoursorrylittlehearts



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Cuddles, Kissing, M/M, depersonalisation, havent seen any fics about that?, starts off kinda angsty but u gotta squint, swears but they're in russian & japanese, victor has depersonalisation, victor with a c, yes more fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 18:50:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9002299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makeawishonoursorrylittlehearts/pseuds/makeawishonoursorrylittlehearts
Summary: What was he looking at? There were colours, and lines, and he could tell you what surrounded him, but he could not focus on it or pull a picture up of it in his mind. His eyes felt like they were unfocused, and he felt as if he wasn't entirely in the room.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Depersonalization or depersonalisation can consist of a reality or detachment within the self, regarding one's mind or body, or being a detached observer of oneself. Subjects feel they have changed and that the world has become vague, dreamlike, less real, or lacking in significance. 
> 
> (definition taken from wikipedia at: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization )

Victor sighs and tries once again to focus his eyes on the picture in front of him. He traces his fingers over the marks, the black lines, the colours, but none of them will engrave themselves into his memory. 

Frustrated, Victor tears his eyes away from the painting he can't remember for the life of him and curls his fists into balls. "Suka blyat!" Curse words usually did not leave his mouth, especially not words meaning fucking bitch, but Victor's tired. Victor can't see, why can't he see? What was he looking at? There were colours, and lines, and he could tell you what surrounded him, but he could not focus on it or pull a picture up of it in his mind. His eyes felt like they were unfocused, and he felt as if he wasn't entirely in the room. 

Shaking his head and turning towards the stairs, Victor sighs heavily and tries to find Yuri. 

\--------------------------------------

"Yuri?" Victor knows Yuri is meant to be asleep, as they've been at practice for nearly 7 hours, but he has to talk to Yuri. Just something to get his stupid eyes to focus, anything to make him feel at least more like he's living than he is now. 

Victor decides that as Yuri didn't answer his initial call, he must be asleep. Looking around him, Victor feels dizzy suddenly. His hand shoots out to lean on the wall for support, but it does little to help. He needs Yuri now. 

Entering the upstairs bedroom, Victor looks around and lets his eyes adjust to the darkness. Yuri likes for the room to be dark when he sleeps, as does Victor. As each day goes on, Victor becomes more and more certain they're meant to be together. 

Maccachin is lying besides Yuri. Yuri's glasses are on the side table, and he's spread out on the bed kind of like a starfish. Victor stifles a giggle before becoming dizzy once again. He slowly makes his way to Yuri's side and places a hand gently on Yuri's shoulder. 

"Yuri?" No answer. 

"Love? Yuri?" Yuri shifts but that's all. Sighing, Victor walks around to the other side of the bed. Trying to be as quiet as he can, Victor moves Maccachin and lies down next to Yuri. 

Instantaneously, Yuri's arms are around Victor and he's nuzzling into Victor's neck. Victor decides he should sleep - after all, tiredness makes this shitty feeling even worse and he's comfortable. Not a bad place to rest at all. 

\--------------------------------------

Yuri sleepily opens his eyes and registers someone lying right next to him. He whips his head round to see who it is because Yuri is not used to having people sleep next to him, and oh. It's Victor. 

Yuri's heartbeat slows down and he turns slowly to take in the beauty of the person next to him. Victor is lying on his back, and his legs are tangled with Yuri's. His silver hair is tousled but not messy, and why can he look so perfect just by lying down? Yuri decides it's ridiculous and laces his fingers with Victor's, lazily stroking his thumb over the back of his hand. 

When did Victor join me? Yuri wonders. Not that he has any opposition - really quite the opposite. He feels safe with Victor, and damn Victor is a good hugger. 

Yuri's stomach suddenly growls, reminding him that he hasn't eaten since around one in the afternoon, while they were taking a break from practicing jumps - quads in particular. Yuri's whole body still ached and he was about to pass out when him and Victor dragged their tired feet through the door. Yuri'd announced he was going to bed and fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. 

Victor must have joined him sometime after, and knowing him he hadn't eaten like Yuri. Yuri grabs his glasses from the side table and checks his phone. 

"Ah! Victor!" Yuri sits up very suddenly and begins shaking Victor. "Victor! Wake up!" 

Disgruntled, Victor swats at Yuri's hand and rolls over. "Yuri..." 

"Victor, it's eight! Don't you want food, love?" The pet name makes Victor look up at Yuri, even if he doesn't get up. "Victor... I'm hungry!" 

Victor throws his arm around Yuri, pulling Yuri back down towards him to lie down.

"But... Yuri, I'm comfortable," a whispered protest that did little to sway Yuri. 

"Victor. I'm hungry. At least let me go make some food?" Yuri tries to keep his voice stern but it's hard when Victor looks so cute. 

Victor looks up at Yuri through his eyelashes and sticks his bottom lip out ever so slightly. "Please, Yuri?" 

"Kuso, Victor - you know that's not fair - no stop! I can't - fine." By now Victor is laughing, he knows he's persuaded Yuri to stay by him. 

Victor stares into Yuri's eyes, waiting for a slight nod of the head before Victor is kissing Yuri. Their lips move together in sync, as if they are made for each other. It's a short, sweet kiss that coveys the love they feel for each other in a few movements. 

Well, nearly. Victor doesn't think that anything can show Yuri just how much he loves him. Even though Yuri loves Victor's lips, he'd rather talk than kiss. 

Probably.

"You can go eat now, love." Victor whispers. He's not entirely sure why - there's nobody but the two of them in the room. Victor figures that's probably why - it feels too tender a moment to shatter it with loud voices. 

"... You wanted me to stay, though?" Yuri is confused - what were those puppy eyes Victor pulled on him, then? 

"Just for that. I don't fancy kissing you after you've eaten whatever you're going to eat." Victor's smiling slightly, watching Yuri's expression morph from confusion to indigence. 

"Hey, baka! I was going to eat katsudon! You like that, right?" Yuri's got his fingers tangled in Victor's hair. Yuri finds himself wishing Victor had long hair. Only for a second however, as Minako-sensai's hair gets everywhere, and her's is shorter than Victor's was. 

Doesn't stop Yuri loving it, though. 

"Hm, I do like that... can you make me some?" Victor has a cheeky smile on his face. 

"Kiss me again and it's a deal." Yuri demands. 

"Not a problem, moya lyubov," Victor sing-songs the Russian words and once again their lips move in harmony. 

\--------------------------------------

As Victor watches Yuri leave the bedroom, he takes a look around and realises he doesn't feel so spaced out anymore. Content, Victor closes his eyes and waits for a few minutes for Yuri to call his name from the kitchen. 

Yuri may not realise it, but he helps Victor as much if not more than Victor helps him. 

"Victor! Katsudon's ready!" Yuri's beautiful voice calls Victor to the kitchen, and he can smell the katsudon. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, Victor calls out, 

"I love you, Yuri Katsuki." 

A clatter is heard from the kitchen and Victor's pretty sure Yuri just dropped his spoon. 

Oh well.


End file.
